Ireland!

So I'm going to Ireland in August. I was having a mid life crisis about 4 weeks ago and I was talking to one of my friends about it. I was telling her that I needed to get out of town and escape my life for awhile. I said that I needed to go on a trip and that I would love to go overseas again (I went in between my junior and senior years of high school, I went to Spain). She agreed with me and was giving me a list of places that she has always wanted to go, amoung them were Japan and Ireland. I have always wanted to go to Ireland, it has always seemed to pretty and peaceful, so I said sure lets go to Ireland. I really didn't think much was going to actually happen, but we decided why not actually make it happen.

We have already bought our tickets, we have like a 20 hour layover in Vegas. Can't really complain about that cuz that city goes all night, so my friend and I plan on checking our bags and walking the strip and visiting it.

I told Connor that I was going to Ireland, I didn't really talk about it with him, I just informed him that I was going. I don't think he was very happy about that, but to be honest I did it on purpose. I'm so ready to get married and he has shown interest, but no idea when. So I figured I'd show him that I could do whatever I wanted and I didn't need him to make decisions. Not the most grown up thing, but I was scared that I would chicken out if we talked.

But I mean look at that picture! Who wouldn't want to go see that. 🌏

Pilot

So I have never had a blog before and I figured no better time than the present.

Not like anyone is going to read this, but hey why the hell not. Sometimes I think my life is crazy busy and insane, but then I get off of work and lay on my bed for 3 hours playing games on my phone cuz I have nothing better to do.........well that's not totally true. I'm haven't swept my floor in like 2 weeks but it's easier to lay on my bed. I swear there are some days on the weekends that I wouldn't even get out of bed if it wasn't for my dog. He has to go pee at some point in the day but other than that I could be perfectly fine never leaving my house.

My boyfriends roommates girlfriend is not one of those people. She cannot sit still for more than 2 hours at a time or else she will go crazy. Which is strange cuz she has depression and normally people with depression are like me and will sit around and do nothing. Maybe I have depression.......I cry for no reason all the time and get really upset when I have nothing to do.

Living alone makes it even harder. Like I said I could go all day and not get off the cosuch if it wasn't for Munchi ( my dog). He drives me crazy sometimes. He will just sit there and whine at me until I throw his ball. I have never seen a dog so obsessed with fetch as he is. Like get a life dog, I bought you chew toys so you would leave me alone, but nope he has to harass me all the time! I do love him though and he does make a good snuggle buddy when I'm upset. He is about 8 lbs and he likes to hid under the covers so I have to be careful to not squish him when I flop on my bed.

So back to a busy life since we got a little side tracked.........I work anywhere between 30-70 hours a week. That's crazy, but what do you expect when you work in the culinary field. I work at my local community college in the culinary arts department. I'm the executive sous chef and I'm only 23 hell yeah! 👅 I know totally mature. All things considered I have my ducks in a row. Graduated high school in the top 10% of  my class, graduated college with an associates of applied science of culinary arts, had enough scholarships that all my college was paid for, have my own apartment that I pay rent for, own my car, and have a good job with great benefits. All things considered I have it going for being a millennium.

But here I am doing so good and I still feel like I'm behind in life. I've been dating Connor for 5 years now. We started dating right out of highschool. I love the crap out of him, but we are still just dating. I have seen some many people I know ge married and have kids and here I am still not married. I'm so ready to start a life with him. I won't live with him until we are married and so I'm alone all the time.

We work different shifts. I work in the mornings and has night shifts. I can't stay up cuz I have to go to work in the morning, and he can't get up early cuz he needs sleep before his shift. Thankfully we both have weekends off or else we would never see each other. But once in awhile he will go hunting on the weekend or I will have a catering event and then we don't see each other for almost two weeks. That is really hard on me sinc my love language is quality time. I'm the happiest when we are together. I don't even care if he talks to me. Like the other night I wanted to watch Bones on Netflix and he wanted to play video games, so we brought my little tv to my moms house (she has Internet for Netflix, and she is out of town) and I watched Netflix and he played his video games. We are both able to do what we want, but can still spend time together.

I know someone like my sister would die in a relationship like ours where we never see each other but it kinda works for us. Some weeks it doesn't and I feel like I'm going to die. Last week I was on my period and didn't see him once. But what made it worse was he could have come over on two different days because he got off work early enough but he chose to go hang out with friends. I had a catering even that weekend so I felt like he didn't wanna see me. I cried my self to sleep everyday that week and then everyone was telling me I looked tired the next days and yeah I was so miserable I couldn't get up early enough to shower or put on makeup. Those days really suck.


Ok enough bitching and ranting for tonight. I'm going to go run on treadmill (and by run I mean walk while I watch The Amazing Race on Hulu) and try and lose my freshman 30 that still won't go away after a year of trying. But that's another story for later.👟👟